At a small business matchmaking event, I locked eyes in a crowded room with another owner and we began talking about our mutual companies.  He said, “There is a reason why we met; there are no accidents.”  I mentioned that my business focuses largely on the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Market (LGBT), and his body language immediately changed. He offered,  “As a devout Christian, I have problems with that.”   He was African American and I was hoping this would be a teachable moment.  I wanted to help him see that in the business world it was simply an issue of equality, its not about marching in a Pride parade or asking people to change their political or religious beliefs, but simply creating an environment of diversity and inclusion for everyone.

The conversation soon ended.  I was disappointed and continued working the room.  I spotted a Navy display and wanted to ask how their environment was since the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”  I was greeted by a gruff, but welcoming retired navy vet and explained I was part of a marketing and communications agency. Then I pressed him about the LGBT issue within the service.

Again, immediately there was a bit of a defensiveness.  He said that most officers will tell you that there is tolerance, but that privately many are not going to want to work with gays anymore than they are going to want to work with women. I asked him about diversity training programs that were in place and he told me that those don’t work.  His mind seemed to be made up.

Too bad.  I just read a report about a gay hazing incident on the USS Florida that has led to the firing of a top enlisted officer aboard a nuclear submarine.  The incident involved months of teasing of a sailor, and eventually led to allegations by this sailor that another man tried to rape him while in a foreign port. The officer in charge was apparently aware of the ongoing hazing but did nothing to stop it.  More counseling and training has been now been ordered to prevent future episodes.

We have made so much progress to honor and respect all diversities.  But we have a lot further to go.  I was reminded of that recently.  It takes each of us finding the time to talk to those who may not agree; and in some cases adamantly so.

Like the devout Christian I met.  He is right, it was no accident we met.

- Dan

I recently went to Pride Rhode Island, one of the hundreds of LGBT Pride Month celebrations around the world.  It was filled with freebies and wonderful vendors– local ones in Providence like Ma’s Kitchin (loved their chicken wraps!) to national ones like Ameriprise Finance Services,  where I hung out part of the day. (Thanks to the Cranston, RI financial advisers Oliver, Jim, and Ted!)

There were all kinds of churches, non-profits, politicians, entertainment, a wide assortment of people, and yes, there were a few outrageous costumes! But my most enjoyable time there was spent with an ally who told a family story that I will never forget.

“Sam”  is a straight guy who had never been to a Pride event before.  I assumed that the LGBT world was probably new to him, and I congratulated him on joining in on the festivities.  I asked if he was overwhelmed at all.  “Not at all,” he said.  “My sister and her wife have done a great job educating me.  As a matter of fact, they have asked me to be the father of their baby!”

Not having any children of his own yet, he was beaming as we talked. He described how ecstatic his mom is with the thought of their daughter and son becoming parents at the same time!  “Sam” went on to say that they have been trying for about 3 months and he can’t wait for the news they’re pregnant. I saw this incredible personal pride on “Sam’s” face as he talked about the honor of this undertaking, the anticipation of fatherhood, and the joy of giving the gift of life.

More and more LGBT couples are becoming parents. According to the Family Equality Council, (familyequality.org) a nonprofit which connects, supports, and represents the LGBT family, there are one million LGBT parents who are raising two million children in our country.  Another nonprofit, Creating a Family, (www.creatingafamily.org) estimates that 40% of LGBT couples between 22 and 55 are parents.These numbers are conservative as many LGBT parents don’t identify themselves for fear of discrimination.

Jenn, my partner at Diversity Works- (www.diversityworksllc.com) and her wife, Andrea, are raising two beautiful children! We discuss how exciting both personally and professionally it is to see the LGBT family become more visible. Advertisers certainly see the value of targeting us. On the Family Equality Council site alone, supporters include Children’s Tylenol, Target, HBO, PepsiCo, and the General Mills Foundation.

In a world where more love and compassion is needed, may everyone who desires to be a parent have that opportunity. Thanks to Sam for making this Pride Rhode Island so significant for me, and here’s hoping that you will be painting a nursery for the next Father’s Day!

See you next blog,
Dan

PS: Happy Birthday on June 26 to Jenn.  May Andrea and your family, do something extra special for you!

Your initial idea with “Boston Spirit” was a simple one…to do a gay Boston Magazine.  Did you ever imagine that 8 years later you would be where you are today?

I really didn’t know where we would be 8 years later.  If you think about it the world has changed so dramatically over the last 8 years, especially the world economy and business climate.  As a result a lot of publications/newspapers have gone out of business.  At this point I am just happy that we were able to weather the storm and survive, thankfully we are doing well these days.  The magazine and our events are doing better than ever.

You and your wife took a financial risk in your start up–what gave you the courage?

I’m not sure if it was courage or ignorance.  If anyone is thinking of doing what we did I would tell them to do a lot more research than we did.  I thought I had a good idea and convinced my wife that it was a good idea.  That said, I probably romanticized how easy it was going to be.  It’s been very tough and stressful at times.

What kind of advice would you give to small business owners starting out today?  

Do a ton of research!  Meet with as many people in the industry as possible, try to find a mentor.  Chances are that the person starting out will have one vision of the business and that vision will probably change as reality takes over.  You need to also plan for worst case scenario… have a plan B and plan C.

As an ally, how fulfilling has it been knowing you have helped strengthen and celebrate the LGBT community?

It is, by far, the most fulfilling part of my job.  I get so much positive feedback on the magazine and our events, that never happened in other jobs I held.  Think about it, we held an LGBT Executive Networking Night in March, more than 1,300 people attended….that event didn’t exist 6 years ago.  Boston Spirit created that event and now we have this massive gathering for LGBT corporate professionals.  I think that’s a tremendous accomplishment.

You have been very involved in community outreach.  Talk about your work with Fenway Health.

Fenway Health is a wonderful organization, the largest healthcare facility in the world with LGBT in its mission statement.  They were at the forefront of treatment for HIV/AIDS and remain leaders in the field.  Each year the magazine holds a summer sunset cruise (it has sold out 4 years in a row…more than 500 people) and every penny raised goes to Fenway Health.  It has raised more than $100,000.  That said, there are many great non-profits working on behalf of the LGBT community in the Boston area, including AIDS Action, Boston Living Center, Community Servings, GLAD and more….they all do great work.

Fenway Health will be benefiting again from your Summer Sunset Cruise.  There are still a few tickets left–why is this event particularly special to you?

The event is special because, like our other events, we built it from scratch.  I had an idea for a different, fun, low cost event…and the sunset cruise was born.  It’s such a fun night, great food, great music, and all for a great cause.  This year we have a bigger boat and we anticipate having about 700 people onboard…it’s amazing how big it’s gotten.

Tell us about the new career series you are launching.

We have found, through our LGBT Executive Networking Night, that many companies are looking to hire through diversity initiatives and, specifically, from the LGBT community.  There really isn’t an outlet to get that message out.  We feel that doing this section gives these companies an outlet and also serves our readers…a win-win.

What would you recommend for those interested in learning more about the Boston Spirit and advertising opportunities?

Feel free to give me a call or send along an email.  I can be reached at (781) 223-8538 or by email at publisher@bostonspiritmagazine.com.

Tell us a bit about your life “off the clock”?

My life off the clock is completely dominated by my family.  My wife Kris, my 7 year old daughter and my 5 year old son.  And I wouldn’t have it any other way, all the tee ball games, karate practice, school shows, all that stuff.   I love every minute of it.

Anything else you’d like to say?

I’d like to commend the companies working with Diversity Works for “getting it.” Embracing diversity and supporting a diverse group of employees is a very wise business decision.  It’s not just the right thing to do, it’s smart business.  It’s nice to see more and more businesses doing the right thing.

Is there a LGBT leader you’d like to see saluted?  Email me at dweaver@diversityworksllc.com

A short history lesson. Originally “Gay Pride Day” was held during the last Sunday in June, remembering the 1969 New York City Stonewall Riots, considered the watershed moment in the Gay Liberation Movement.  Eventually it evolved into a month’s worth of parades, picnics, parties, historical displays and moving memorials that now attract millions of participants from all over the world.

If you’re like me and prefer a quieter way to reflect on LGBT history, I recommend checking out one of the many LGBT Film Festivals around the country.  For those of you near the Nutmeg state, I give two thumbs up to Out Film CT organizers of the Connecticut Gay and Lesbian Film Festival (www.OutFilmCT.org) that is running through June 9 in Hartford.

This is an extra special run for them this year;  the longest-running cinema festival in the state is turning 25 this year. One of the reasons for its success is Out Film CT Director Shane Engstrom, who has held his prestigious post since 2008.

He got involved with the festival twelve years ago when he came out and was looking for a gay social outlet. Being a huge indie film buff it was a perfect passion.  (By day, for the past seven years he’s worked in Retail Administration for Webster Bank, and before that, Fleet/Bank of America.)

His favorite films this year?  “ For me, it’s a toss up between “Gayby,”  ”Time to Spare” and “Cloudburst.”  Loved all three.  In “Cloudburst,” Olympia Dukakis comes out with lines that would make your hair curl… what a mouth on her!  And there’s that shirtless hitchhiker.  ”Gayby” is just a lot of fun, and the acting is really excellent with some really sharp dialogue.  ”Time to Spare” was a genuine surprise for me when I originally saw it.  I’d never heard anything about the film, but it literally made me laugh and made me cry.  Definitely the sleeper of the festival.”

As he reflects back on the LGBT history he’s helped make, what things come to mind?  “For the first 3 years of the festival, they didn’t even watch the films before programming them!  As opposed to today when we watch over 200 films over 10 months and end up selecting less than 25% of them to show in the festival itself… I don’t think people realize that we’re so selective!”

Congratulations to Shane and his incredible team of volunteers who are a special part of LGBT Pride Month to so many.  Jenn and I celebrate YOU!

See you next blog,
Dan

But don’t take my word for it… listen to the wisdom of dedicated volunteers who have watched over 200 films to find the right selections for this year’s silver showcase. I’d like to introduce you to one of these special behind- the- scenes cast of characters. By day, Mark Slitt is a Public Relations Manager at Cigna, Platnium sponsor of this year’s festival. Mark enjoys being a very active committee member for Out Film CT, the non-profit organization that produces the festival.

So what’s your favorite film in this year’s line-up?
That’s a hard question! I love Cloudburst, because I adore Olympia Dukakis and she’s just superb in this film. I also love Gayby because it’s so darn funny. And Jobriath A.D. is a really fascinating documentary that reveals a part of our history that most of us know nothing about. Among the shorts, dik is great. I love dik. What’s not to love about dik?

How long does the committee watch movies to get the choices we’ll be seeing?
The committee watches movies pretty much all year long. After the festival is over, we’ll have about a four to six week break and then we’ll start watching movies again, because we have to get started on the EROS festival in the fall. The thing that I personally find fascinating is that we all get along. I’ve been on committees where there’s politics, cliques, infighting. We have none of that. It’s just a bunch of really nice, friendly people who share a passion for film and a desire to put on really great festivals. It’s a labor of love.

You have always had a love affair with movies, right?
I love movies, I always have – not just for the stories they tell but also as works of art. Before joining this committee, I worked on the Hartford Jewish Film Festival for two years. It’s important to me to be involved in the LGBT community. For many years, while living in Dallas, I served on the board of my LGBT synagogue, including four years as president, which was an experience that shaped who I am today. Working on the film festival enables me to combine my love for film with my desire to serve my community. It’s a joyous experience, truly.

Diversity Works is truly proud to be a sponsor for this year’s event. Happy Anniversary to Mark, Out Film Director Shane Engstrom, and the awesome film family that puts together the festival. See you at the movies!

Warm regards,
Dan (and Jenn!)

(May 15, 2012 – Hartford, CT) Certified Life Coach, speaker, and trainer, Tony Ferraiolo has advocated for the rights of transgender youth in many forums throughout the country and now has an opportunity to tell his powerful story at the White House. He is one of the entries in the first White House LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender) Pride Month Champions of Change Video Challenge. Winners of the competition will be invited to the White House to share their stories and ideas for the future.

The White House LGBT video competition coincides with June’s LGBT National Pride Month, first declared by President Bill Clinton in 2000. Of the proclamation, President Barack Obama said, “I call upon all Americans to observe this month by fighting prejudice and discrimination in their own lives and everywhere it exists.”

Ferraiolo’s three minute video (http://youtu.be/y1o2Bptb6gk) was compiled from footage of a documentary currently being produced on his life by filmaker/video artist Lori Petchers. (www.5Efilms.com). Petchers met Ferraiolo through the mother of a transgender child.  “Tony is an incredibly unique individual.  His ability to overcome the difficulties of his earlier life, and emerge as an inspiration to so many young people is compelling. I am quite proud to nominate him.”

Ferraiolo, depressed, hopeless, and with thoughts of suicide came to the realization that he was transgender and in 2005 transitioned from female to male. Since his transition he has impacted thousands of transgender people, health care professionals, and countless audiences he has spoken to.

He is also the President and Co-founder of the Jim Collins Foundation, (www.jimcollinsfoundation.org), an organization that raises money for gender-confirming surgeries for the transgender community who otherwise couldn’t afford them.

A frequent keynote speaker on transgender health care and workplace discrimination issues at places like the Yale School of Nursing, the University of Connecticut, and True Colors Conference, the largest LGBT Youth Conference in the country, Ferraiolo has also been featured on NPR, PBS, and in Fortune 500 Small Business Magazine.

Ferraiolo is represented by Diversity Works LLC, and is available for speaking events, workshops, and interviews. For information, contact Dan Weaver at dweaver@diversityworksllc.com or 860-572-4445.

Stephanie stopped to greet a runner friend.  After she mentioned I was her brother, she turned to Lee and said “This is Lee, Dan’s wife.”. Now I have a hearing impairment and thought I just heard her incorrectly.  I noticed that her friend looked at us a little strangely but didn’t give it much thought; I know it takes people a little time to process things.  Then Lee asked me later if we should say something to my sister about her calling him my wife.  Then I realized what happened and I was so touched.

My sister has been so supportive and she was probably a little anxious about introducing us and instead of taking the easier way out and simply calling Lee my partner, she decided to go the spouse route. Only she just missed the gender.  An honest mistake for someone who hasn’t had a lot of practice introducing Lee to her friends.

Back at her house, snacking on some great post race sandwiches, we had a laugh about it.  But a great conversation followed.  I told her that its still awkward for me…three years after our marriage.. to introduce Lee as my husband.  I am not embarrassed; its just that for most of my almost 55 years, its a term I never imagined using.

Jenn and I have talked about this; she reminds me its important for her to use “wife” when she is talking about Andrea, not only for the person she is interacting with, but for laying the ground for future generations so these terms will be said quite easily.

It got me to thinking that when women first got the right to vote, it was probably awkward for some going into the voting booth for the first time.  It was probably awkward for some blacks in the south when they were allowed to use the same water fountain as whites for the first time.  But it got easier.  It felt right. It was right. One day, I’d like to think it will be quite comfortable for not only gay or lesbians to introduce their spouses, but for anyone being introduced to them.  But today, I was proud to have my sister introduce Lee as my wife.

- Dan

Many people are familiar with corporate supplier diversity programs which seek out and include minority businesses like “Women-owned” or “African-American owned,” as approved vendors to provide them with products and services.  Corporations often give a percentage of their work to minorities, it’s usually less than 10%, as part of their procurement diversity missions.  It doesn’t assure a minority business of winning the bid, but it helps you get a seat at the table if your are qualified to be there.

One of the newer minority business “frontiers” is LGBT-certified businesses.  This certification, the cornerstone program of the National Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, (www.nglcc.org) (They are doing a road show for those interested in becoming certified, and are Boston bound on Wednesday, May 2.)  The process is a similar to the other minority business programs; you prove that you are 51% owned, controlled and operated, file the needed documents and then you are on your way to new business opportunities.  Our pitching the “big 3” last week was a great one for us! (Thanks to David Riccardi and the NGLCCNY!)

The NGLCC, leading the way of a pioneering movement of the now estimated $800 billion in LGBT buying power, has a strong base of local affiliates around the country; Diversity Works is a proud member of the Connecticut Alliance for Business Opportunities-CABO (www.thecabo.org). This growing network is not only for LGBT businesses, but their allies as well.  The NGLCC has 140+ corporate partners like Amercan Airlines, Pepsi, and IBM (as well as the big three we pitched to on Tuesday!) These enterprises are looking to work with LGBT certified businesses as suppliers.

Even if you already have a LGBT owned company or are thinking of starting one, the timing has never been better.  There are currently just 300 LGBT certified businesses in the entire country, the odds are certainly in your favor to get in front of some of these corporations if you are qualified.

It is an opportunity that more and more business owners are discovering. If you know someone who has a LGBT owned business but might not have realized they can certify it, please pass this along! We hope to share with you that we’ll be working with one or more of the heavy-hitters Jenn, Tony, and I pitched to last week. We could get used to working in New York more often and unbeatable views of NYC.

See you next Blog,
Dan & Jenn

This week Diversity Works went to Wall Street to pitch Colgate-Palmolive, New York Life, and JP Morgan Chase, all in in the same room at the same time!   It was all thanks to a special “matchmaking” program created for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) certified businesses by the New York chapter of the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce (www.nglccny.org) More on their work and the pioneering movement that the NGLCC is leading in our next blog.

Jenn and I were proud to do the pitch with our new Director of Training, Tony Ferraiolo.  Here is how he opened our meeting.

Imagine tomorrow I came to work as an employee to you and I told you I was taking a medical leave and when I returned I was going to be the opposite gender? That is exactly what I did, and I’d like to share a bit of my story, which has led to my career in diversity training and workplace equality.

It was just as uncomfortable for me and my fellow co-workers as it was for my boss. I was the first Transgender person any of them had ever known. When I returned to work after my surgery, I presented very “male”. I can tell by the reactions from everyone, that the company did not have any type of diversity training. The HR Manager didn’t even have a re-entry meeting, so I was never told which bathroom to use. I realized that I was not the only person transitioning, everyone in the company was transitioning along with me. For three weeks I waited until my lunch break, drove a mile down the road, and used a bathroom at a gas station. I finally got the emotional strength to ask the HR Manager what bathroom I should use.

If there was a policy written before I returned to work the bathroom issue would have been addressed. Organizations need to put policies in place and have diversity trainings before an employee transitions or comes out as LGBT.  

Now imagine, a company where employees are embraced for every kind of diversity, feel safe and protected at the workplace and whose stories help the company communicate their message broadly to the community. And position them as leaders to the LGBT community.

You can be this company with the help of Diversity Works.    

Tony’s is also a certified coach and highly sought after speaker. He will be at the “Transgender Lives 2012” Conference (of which Diversity Works is a sponsor) at UCONN, doing workshops this weekend. (www.transadvocacy.com) In one of them, he will join me and fellow CABO members (www.thecabo.org), the CT affiliate of the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, to talk about the challenges Trans people face in finding and keeping their jobs. The unemployment rate among the Trans Community is estimated to be between 40-60%.

We are so lucky to have Tony on the Diversity Works team, and it was truly an honor to stand beside him and Jenn on Wall Street this week!

Stay tuned for Part 2,
Dan

Lee and I have shied away from financial planners for many of the 26 years we’ve been together. Part of it is fear of the “M” word,  and the other is that our businesses matters are so personal to us.  Turns out we are not alone.  One third of LGBT seniors haven’t done any estate planning. So how did we get past our fears?  In a word, Oliver.

Oliver Brady is a straight ally at Ameriprise in Providence who is well versed in the unique LGBT issues that many of us face.  Besides his comfortable style, we learned that Ameriprise Financial has a long history of meeting the needs of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender clients.

We were also pleased to learn that they  score 100% of the Corporate Equality Index, (www.hrc.org), which is a great gauge of a company’s true commitment to their LGBT employees, something important to Lee and me.   They were one of the first financial services firms to offer dual client analysis for domestic partners and single people in relationships.

If you are in the New England area, Ameriprise will be holding a LGBT Financial Planning event on Thursday, April 26 at 6PM at Gracies in Providence.  There is a unique panel of experts, and I am proud to represent Diversity Works on it. Click here to view the PDF invitation.

Mark your calendar for a night of good information and a great time to connect with new friends. Seating is limited so RSVP today at (401) 824-2523.  If you can’t make it,  and you are a little anxious about your financial plan for the future, let me put in a plug for contacting Oliver. He is smart, sensitive, funny…..with a charming Irish accent.

See you Out and About,

Dan (and Jenn!)